Mom tells me to do my best in the Junglerun even though we sloths move very slow. Mom suggests we go buy a pair of sneakers for the event. Yeah! I love to go shopping!
Tomorrow is a very special for me, I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. My mom and friends are very excited for me since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
Tomorrow is a very special for me; I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. My mom and I are very excited since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
Illustration changes: Remove butterfly above banner. Yiggi is cute enough alone. Remove yellow butterfly on page 13 lower right side.
Tomorrow is a very special for me; I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. My mom and I are very excited since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
Remove the butterflies from the second page - I think it's too busy.
Tomorrow is a very special for me; I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. Mom and I are very excited since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
15 comments:
Mom tells me to do my best in the Junglerun even though we sloths move very slow. Mom suggests we go buy a pair of sneakers for the event. Yeah! I love to go shopping!
I love the Jungle run page. The mom and sadie page looks a little funny. I am not loving the sneakers either they look like converse :)
Hi there Erin - please make sure that the mom sloth doesn't look too scary ;) Thanks.
Please draw the mom the same way you have on the beginning pages. It's well done! Keep up the great work.
Erin - these pages are super cute! Very well done. My only changes would be:
Page 12
Add Yiggi and Hope the hummingbird - above the banner (would make a nice touch)
Maybe (your choice) add an ant on an anteater's tongue
Make the deer and the jaguar a little more furry
Any chance to change the sign to JUNGLERUN (one word) if not - then add a space in the text to reflect Jungle Run as two words.
Page 13
Very well done! All that is needed is some grit (some coloration) to the mom's claws. Claws look a little too clean.
sneaker looks cute - though I would make the laces a little more (lace-like) right now looks like velcro.
Text should now read:
Sadie, even though we sloths move very very slow - just remember to do your best in the Jungle Run.
Now, let's go buy and you some new sneakers.
Yeah! I love to go shopping!
What do you think of the thought bubble? I am not sure I like it? Maybe if the background wasn't so white. Any suggestions?
I love the butterflies just add a little texture to Mom's claws. Sloths claws are pretty gritty :)
Also change text to this:
Text should now read:
Sadie, even though we sloths move very very slow - just remember to do your best in the Jungle Run.
Now, let's go buy and you some new sneakers!
(I removed the last line since I like the idea of the mom talking)Added an explanation mark instead of a period!
Do you say sneakers or running shoes? Sneakers is a very east coast thing.
JungleRun:
Can you have Yiggi with a Butterfly around her head and remove Joyce?
The parrots, frogs and lizard look a little flat in this picture. Can you make them "pop" with color more? Also why is the background green?
Are you going to change Joel in this frame?
Tomorrow is a very special for me, I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. My mom and friends are very excited for me since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
Can you remove the top right butterfly? And add a little texture on mom's claws.
Thanks.
Tomorrow is a very special for me; I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. My mom and I are very excited since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
Illustration changes:
Remove butterfly above banner. Yiggi is cute enough alone.
Remove yellow butterfly on page 13 lower right side.
Remember to make these changes:
Tomorrow is a very special for me; I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. My mom and I are very excited since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
Illustration changes:
Remove butterfly above banner. Yiggi is cute enough alone.
Remove the butterflies from the second page - I think it's too busy.
Tomorrow is a very special for me; I am going to run my very first JUNGLERUN race. Mom and I are very excited since there has never been a sloth in the race before.
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